Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Christi's LiveJournal:

Monday, April 21st, 2003
6:26 pm	i just updated.. did it work? someone let me know.. my computer is weird (1 Comment |Comment on this)
6:22 pm	summer!!! hey guys.. it's been a while.. i randomly check this thing once in a while... hi d, hi cole, hi al, hi dan.. i hope you are all doing well with school.. our first year is almost over.. can you believe it? I wish I would've kept in better touch with you guys..... can't wait til' summer.. hopefully I get the chance to see you all... but, I will be gone for an entire month in the Dominican Republic.. so, yeah.. i'm really excited about that... I get to see my bro this next weekend for my cousin's wedding.. still with the Dan that none of you have met yet :(... he's the best... love him to death!! k guys.. have a good week and talk to you all later! christi (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 27th, 2003
7:56 pm	ahhh! hey everyone.. long time since I've been on here.. geez..... what have I been doing? Well.. mainly just school and working about 20 or so hours a week at Damon's in Champaign. Been home a lot this semester to see my boy!!! :) Did I read this right that Nicole AND Danielle are coming home this weekend... you guys should call me Friday when you get back.. Smith and I are supposed to go see Cleary Friday night but we could come see you guys too.. yeah.. it'll be a small little reunion.. ehhe.. plus, you guys haven't seen the non-blonde me yet heheh... love you girls.. can't wait to see you! christi (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 6th, 2003
11:54 am	does al have a username or does she just get one sometimes? cramer (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 4th, 2003
12:16 am	where do I go from here......... where do i begin?? i was just going through reading other peoples' live journals.... shit this life sucks!! we were so happy and so content with our friends... then we were just thrown into this new environment..... I couldn't wait for it to come... but, look what it's done... just confused the fuck out of me basically... sure i have some new friends taht are pretty fucking cool too.. but they just don't seem to compare to the friends I had at home.... it's just not the same... but, what have I done.. i've been so caught up in doing well with school and work and everything else that i've let my friendships from home slip away... in just one semester... how does this happen so quickly? I would like to apologize to all of you...... I guess anyway.. I dunno.. I definitely did not want this to happen.. but, i guess it's going to somewhat.... I just don't know I've changed so much so fast that I don't even know who I am myself these days.. at all actually ... at all.. some days I think i've got it figured out.. but, I don't... not even close.. Why did God put me in this place that I do not want to be in...... k.. now i'm ranting.. I just don't understand why I am now doing exactly what I was doing last year at this time... looking at colleges, reapplying, and worrying about where i'll be a year from now.. noone should have to do this twice and this scares the hell out of me.. cuase i'm so unstable and so uneasy about things now as it is.. this will be like two huge moves in a years time.. that's fucking insane.. but, the first one I made to the U of I was not for me.. I don't fit in that environment and if there's anything i've learned out of the experience is that I have to put myself first for once and make a decision based on my happiness and get the hell out of there...... even though.. I am so torn between friends, lovers, family, school, my major, and my life right now... I don't get it... I don't understand love either and I don't think I ever will to be honest.. it's a crazy, mixed up world...... why are we given someone that's makes us so happy for so long.. and, then they are completely torn away from us... I know it's supposed to make us stronger... but, mine has been over a year and I still feel like shit about it.. I don't get it.. and, these relationships are supposed to make us stronger.. but, really.. I think it's just made me so cautious that I am afraid to try with anyone.. I don't even realize I'm doing it.. but, I shut myself out from every guy that starts to get close to me.. ahh all I do know is that everything I am thinking about right this moment and two minutes from now.. could change within an instant ..... that may seem cool.... but, when it's my entire life and my entire future.... it's fucking scary sorry for ranting.. I love all of you... good luck this semester!! and.. I'll never forget all the times we've shared! Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 9th, 2002
6:55 pm	long time.. no see well well well.. i finally remembered my damn screen name and password ....... i'm just sitting here procrasting..... from studying for finals... i miss everyone a ton and i just want to go home and see everyone and not study at all!!! ahhh... i hate school and tests a lot.... yeah.. so, another friend of mine got engaged this past weekend... so, everyone's getting married.. ehhe ... it's kinda cool!! i wish i were in love.. aww.. cole.. i added you to my friends list.. so message me... well, bargmann says i must work on our computer science mp!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 15th, 2002
12:33 am	Is this really happening????? Geez.. this really sucks....... all I know is that first Danielle is gone.. which blows big time might I add... I've only mentioned that 8 million times on here.. and, now none of us girls are doing anything......... I was really hoping that this summer would be tons of girls nights..... we are all so busy with work and our own personal lives that we are not spending time together.. I am not blaming anyone, cause I'm as much to blame as anyone...... but, this is seriously hitting me and it is terrible, because this is our last summer together.. and, we are not spending it together at all.. i know it's only the second week of summer.. but, that's what always happens.. oh, it' sonly the 2nd week.. then soon it's only the 6th week.. then, we all start leaving and it's over......... I know I have no room to talk, cause I haven't called anyone either... It just seriously sucks... this summer ...... I'm so upset about my aunt... ahh.. o well..... I'll be fine......... Danielle.. when you read this will you please call me.. I need to talk to you...... ~Christi~ Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Friday, May 31st, 2002
2:02 pm	The time is running short... Just a few words of wisdom to my fellow classmates that are all graduating in a little over 5 hours.... man.. it's been great you guys!! I love all of you.. "all the memories we've shared... I will cherish everyone of them!" Don't let today take you for granted... cherish each moment... Look it in the eyes and get all you can from this once in a lifetime experience. High school has been everything I had hoped and dreamed about!! Although we all are ready to get out of this town, it really truly is our home and the lessons we have learned here are life lessons, everything we have been through is a segment in our lives and an oppurtunity to grow, learn, and share. I wish all of you the very best possible and take advantage of every oppurtunity that comes your way.. good or bad.. it was dealt to you for a reason!! Current Mood: grateful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 28th, 2002
6:30 pm	Does it exist????? Reality... shit.. what is reality... is reality what I am about to face moving away from everything I know and love, is reality when everytime I get close or attached to someone, they are torn away,is reality knowing that there is that one person out there that would do anything in the world for me and loves me dearly and not feeling that towards them, or is reality chilling with my friends in michigan without a care in the world or any drama from Pontiac.... I don't really know... I appear to be so happy where I am in life right now, when really ... I am so fucking unstable.. big time.... However, I am having a good time in Michigan with Al, Danielle, and Dan, and I'm definitely catching up on some sleep.. We got here Sunday night around 10 Michigan time... after stopping at Steak n' Shake, George talking on a Christian radio station, and talking to Shane about a million times.. hehe.. I love that kid! So, when we got here.. I ended up not getting to see Shane, but we had an awesome conversation Monday night about everything... Sunday night we chilled with Mary and Dave.. and, Dan got a little trashed.. hehe.. Monday he was majorly hung over and he slept all day while us girls went shopping.. then, we all went to a 9:30 movie.. spider-man.. was actually pretty decent.. surprisingly!! Today.. we slept in for a long time.. well, I did anyway... then, we helped D get ready for Prom and I did her and Dan's hair.. we made Danielle's flowers.. and, all that good stuff... and, they just left a little bit ago.. so, me and Al are chilling with Dave for a while.. and, hitting some Prom parties tonight.. hell yeah... then, Thursday morning we are headed back to drama town.. Pontiac, IL.. yeeahhhh... Anyway.. I will quit ranting.. just torn at the moment..... I hate being ripped away from people... once I got close to my real dad... he was put in an institution.. once I got close to Shannon.. she was killed in a drunk driving accident... once everything was perfect with Patrick.. he went to college... My brother.. college... Aaron.. England.. and, now Danielle... we have been through so much this year and I can't believe she is moving.. but, after being here with here this week, I can see it in her eyes.. this is where she belongs and this is where she loves to be.. this family loves her and will take care of her like no other... and, that's what she needs.. well.. I'll quit before I cry.. see everyone soon.. bye all.. have fun in Pontiac.. Current Mood: shocked (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
10:46 pm	"It gets to me in times like these!" Danielle I am so going to miss you.... Oh my gosh... I can't believe this is happening.... for real.. I just read your live journal and starting crying... oh my.. this makes me sick to my stomach.. for real.. ahh... I really hope we get to have a really fun time in Michigan to remember!! OH my... ah.. Nick's being mean.. ahh.. Okay.. anyway.. I umpired tonight.. it was pretty cool.. got yelled at by some dick though. Man, I really want to go to Maley's... but, I have to do this fucking paper, I guess.. ahh.. K, time to do homework.. night!! Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)
Friday, May 17th, 2002
1:50 pm	bubbly toes... hello all.. just sitting here in s.h... ahh. this day seriously blows.. i have so much shit to do this weekend too!! grr.. damn, i don'twant to go to fucking gay marketing class.. wait not gay.. smith would be offended... d....... i do want to go see isle9... um,we can go to both there and to doug's if you wanna? let me know.. i can't believe where your skanky ass is going tonight..that's hilarious.. don't do anything i wouldn't do.. but, you could make enough money to actually buy something... so, go for it... we still need to go to bloomington.......... you wanna get outfits from goodwill or house of funk for graduation? i don't want to dress up at all.. what's everyone wearing sunday to the fucking elks lodge??? gahh... hair cut tonight.. hell yah.. i need to get rid of this nasty shaggy mop.. oh, nicholas.. ziggz says " hey. what's up?" ... anyway....... margaritas at la mex tonight... virgin of course, right elleinad........ well.. adios for no Current Mood: indifferent (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 15th, 2002
1:55 pm	everything to look forward to... everything to look back on.. Wew.. it's finally Humpday... damn, I was waiting for this day all week. Except for the fact that I have a fucking skirt on, cause of Sweetwood's gay ass bet... ah.. i hate that man. Baccalaureate is getting out of hand.. it's craziness. Only one more essay in comp. II.. it's sad but I actually kind of want to do this one, so I don't have anything else to do in there... but, i prolly won't.. oh yeah.. Danielle. you wanna go to No Off Season Saturday night for a little bit......... just to see the band? Man, I feel so bad for Cleary.. she's never had to deal with this shit and just out of the blue her aunt kills herself... that's really rough!! Haven't talked to Aaron at all.. he's seriously pissing me off.. but, obviously he doesn't care.. actually I really wonder if he really does or not, cause he's done this before too.. hmm.. guys . :(........ o well. Ziggz called me last night.. he's a pretty fucking cool kid.... might get to see him if the old parental units let me spend a few days at the Kamis'. Friday night.. La Mex.. with the Stu.Co. sweet ass cause JoJo will be there.. Nick, your sister is seriously the coolest girl.. I love her. The team did a lot for us last night.. it was so sweet! Too bad we lost, but it was memorable.. then, I had to go sing for Baccalaureate.... ahhh.. it was a mess.. o well.. 19 more days for elleinad noswad.. ahh.. that sucks.. and, 102 til' we move to U of I.. maybe 101 says mrs. rolf... .. she better do the joke at the banquet tonight.. it will be so awesome if she does.. haha.. that's the only reason I want to go... My brother is home and I get absolutely no sleep when he is home, cause once we both get home and get our shit done, we just sit up and talk for hours.. man, I missed him this year! But, I get to use his computer in my room all summer.. fuck yeah.. that thing is sweet.. well, I will stop rambling and go back to sleeping in the media center Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 9th, 2002
7:14 pm	Pull myself together just to fall one more.... Just got home from my game.. we beat U-High.. yeahh!! pretty excited about that except for the fact that I am playing like shit.. I think sometimes that I'm trying so hard to make these last few games so perfect... that I think too much. Man, today has been pretty damn emotional... it's totally hitting me that my best friend in the entire world that I have confided in and told everything to this past year... is leaving really soon... damn D.. I don't know what to do.. I think about it constantly.. it may not seem like it, I think we've just both been stressed with these A.P. tests, but now they are over, and I want to make the best of this short time.. Fuck.. an entire 6 months have went by since we parted, and I still think about you every day... I don't get it.. why can't I move on? for a period of about 3 weeks I thought I was over him.. only because I was with someone else... I love the fact that I am so damn unindependent that I have to rely on a fucking guy all the time... damn... yeah.. danielle.. that's the goal for this summer... become more independent if that is something that can be achieved in a three month period.. i will do it.. cause, I can't go to college relying on others. Gaaahhh.. danielle.. i wish you were going to U of I!!! Oh, everyone.. Danielle and my party is June 2nd 1-4... but, I'm telling everyone that has other parties of their own to come later, cause there will still be people here.. there always are.. Well.... I'm off to homework... love you all.. Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 7th, 2002
9:04 pm	...................... sleepy, sleepy..... Hello all.. just procrastinating (sp?)... yah.. you know me!! Oh well...lost to Olympia tonight.. those damn girls.. gahh... I wanted to beat them so bad! Jack Johnson this weekend.. yaaaahhhh! I'm totally pumped. Molly just stopped by, her and Maley are having problems.. i feel so bad.. definitely been there! Hm... how many days left of school danielle? not too many.......... it's kinda hitting me.. you know!! Hopefully i have a full time job this summer at lake bloomington, if not.. it's gonna be a long summer! ohh.. well!!! Lifting in the morning.. yeah........... bllahhhh!! A.P. testing actually wasn't too bad today, except part of the free response, but you'll have that i suppose! Patrick's hard at work for finals.. haven't heard from Aaron, imagine that.. and, my brother comes home in 6 days, i'm pumped.. he's hanging with me this summer.. screw HER! haha.. well.. back to studying... love you all !!! Current Mood: determined (Comment on this)
Friday, May 3rd, 2002
3:05 pm	what is promotion? ahhhh! I'm just sitting in marketing.. the most boring fucking class ever!!! But, I'm laughing my ass off at nick's live journal.. have no clue who the kid is... but, oh well.. Danielle, noone told me about "the joker" ... what's the deal? and, what are the senior guys singing? ahh.. i wanna know.. it's gonna be sweet.. nicholas.. I will prolly stop by for a while if that's okay??? Can't wait to make garters tonight with the girls.. fuck yah!! they will be sweet.. d is getting dan right now... yahhhh!! i love that kid!! I agree with Nick that I'm torn between happiness and sadness... but, U of I will be sweet.. I just wish this last month wasn't so hectic... ahh!! o well.. used to it i guess... i love having a sub. we are all just sitting here chillin' doing absolutely nothing at all... I love fucking Kacie Rodriguez telling me that my ex. is not hot anymore.. that's hilarious.. cause, she's pretty damn cute you know.. scott is playing a tampon commercial?? hmmm? practice should be interesting tonight.. hope noone is offended.... anything going on tonight.. babe, nick, or danielle? let me know.... love you all!!! Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 24th, 2002
8:56 am	22 DAYS LEFT AT P.T.H.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YYYAHHHH! Hello everyone... I am sitting in Comp. II class doing nothing... but, screw around..... Soares does not give a shit either.. which is totally sweet.... can't wait til' this weekend.. big plans in Champaign.. hell yah!! Lindsey and Danielle are typing on this right now too.. ehhe... hmmm... no softball today either.. geez.... and, we get out earlier.. can it get any better than that............. well, maybe if we didn't have any math homework.. but, we all know that won't happen, right D? grr.... Nick and Danielle went to John Mayer last night... and, me and Joelle were whining on the bus that we wish we were there... ahh!! hmm....... well.. I am bored.. and, hoder and soares are talking about Japanese Cow Dung..... adios!!! christ Current Mood: bored (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 29th, 2002
11:59 am	shiiitttttyy weather! man... I love this spring break! ehh! Seriously........... it snows, it rains.. it snows, it rains........... blah!! My game got cancelled for tonight in Bloomington, that blows, I wanted to see my friends from traveling softball.. o well.. hmm... have lots of homework to do... yeah... I'm not going to do it.. hehe.......... When is Danielle coming back???? aahh.. never! Oh.. Danielle... I seriously don't think Jenn is coming back.. I talked to her on here last night, and she does not want to come home!!! AH! Well... I'm going to go.. I have lots of shit to get done!! lata! Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 26th, 2002
10:19 am	"They say if you love somebody, then you have to set them free." -Ben Harper It's about 10:20... I just got home from softball practice, and it was actually fun for once! I dove a lot... inside of course, because we have snow on Spring Break in Illinois. I'm waiting for my mom to get home so we can go to the eye doctor in Bloomington.. yeahhh! Fun day ahead of me. I hope I find something to do tonight, cause this break has sucked so far! I saw two of my classmates shoveling snow on the Mill Street bridge on the way home, I believe that is because they were caught drunk at the Fun Fest on Friday night, but that's what you get for going to school drunk I guess!! haha! Danielle is still in Michigan, she sucks!! I'm not sure if Aaron is home or not. I think I got everything straightened out with Blake, I hope anyway.... Well, time to go... bye, all! Sorry this entry sucks! Current Mood: calm (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 25th, 2002
11:56 pm	" I need you now more than I ever did." - J.E.W. well shit... I love times like this.. midnight... need sleep, and all I can do is think. Think of what I've lost.. think of what I can't control... think of how bad separation hurts so bad, especially when neither person can control it.... like when that certain someone that you want to spend every second with is going to another country.... separated by the seas... ever heard that one? well, now I know what it feel like.. or soon will anyway.... Damn Danielle, I wish you were here.. more than ever... the subject ... "I need you now more than I ever did," is for you Aaron.. even though you won't read this... it makes me feel better to write this... I never realized how much he meant to me and how much I learned from him in such a short time about life.. until now.. when, he's gone... I wish I could do something... I really do... I wish I could be with him right now.. always.. I wish that he could be a part of everything that is about to happen with my last few months in this town!! I try to tell myself this is for the better.. I really do... but, I have yet to think of how it will better me.. when I am just getting to know someone and thuroughly enjoy their presence.. then, they are gone... there's always later.. he tries to tell me... but, that's hard to believe.. we do not know what the future holds.... I can only hope.. I just wish that there were some way to promise to him, and make him believe that nothing will happen between now and then.... nothing, that between now and Champaign.. I am going to do a lot of soul searching... no relationships.. not when there is one that I want to try again... nope, none... Current Mood: disappointed (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 20th, 2002
10:03 pm	ENGLAND.... it just doesn't seem possible! Well, I finally got one of these damn things, and now it is really addicting!! It's Wednesday, March 20.. at about 10:15 pm.. I am just sitting here thinking about if it is really possible that that certain someone is going to England for 3 entire months... it just doesn't seem possible. I think I'm realizing how much he means to me! This really blows... o well, I guess it could be worse... Dan- I can't wait to see you this weekend, it's gonna be fun!! I really miss Danielle... we never get to hang out anymore... why is everything hitting me at once? I can't wait to get out of this town, yet.. I will miss those few certain people.. I hope Smith isn't dying again! Anyway, I am officially on SPRING BREAK... yeehhaaa... too bad I'm not doing anything exciting what so ever.. it's called softball games everyday.. basically.. o well.. time for msn messenger!! Current Mood: drained (1 Comment |Comment on this)